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Love Sickness

Part I

A Kim Possible Fanfic

By Brenna “Snakelady” Dawkins


Rating: PG13
Warnings: Drakken/Kim Possible
Spoilers: None
Summary: Drakken in love with Kim?  And Kim used to think she had it rough before!  The microchip rehabilitation doesn’t seem to go as planned.
Date Of Completion: Nov 14, 2004 
Date Of Posting: Feb 15, 2010
Disclaimer: Kim Possible and all subsequent characters are owned and copyrighted by Disney Studios.  I have made no money off of this or any of my other fanfics… pity!

Word Count: 1373
Feedback welcome and appreciated.


*          *          *          *          *



In between classes, Kim paused in mid-step to answer Wade’s in coming call.  “Hey, Wade, what’s the sitch?  Can we keep it short?  I got debate in just a few.”


“Sure thing, Kim.”  Said the youth. 


            Kim had to wonder if Wade had ANY other hobbies but seriously doubted it.  The boy was an information junky.


            “Just thought you might be pleased to know they caught Drakken.  They’re taking him in for evaluation now.”


            That took Kim by surprise.  Even on her best days Drakken usually managed to slip away.  “You’re kidding.  Evaluate what?  He’s a baddie!”


            Wade shrugged his heavyset shoulders, “It’s that new rehabilitation program.  You know, trying to make criminals acceptable to reenter society--- eventually.”


            Kim’s brows furrowed, “He’s not going to jail?”  That just didn’t sit well with her at all.  “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!”


            “From what I hear, he’ll be on parole.”


            The second bell rang.  “I’m going to be late, Wade.  Listen, I’ll get back to you, ‘kay?”


            “’Kay, later.”


            Kim hoofed it to her class.


            After school, she beat it over to the government complex that was almost like a second home to her.  Ron was in tow with Rufus tucked in his jacket pocket. 


            “But, Drakken’s been captured before.”  Ron replied cautiously.


            “And has always managed to escape and junk.”  Kim reminded him.  “I don’t like this ‘out on parole’ business.  What are they thinking?”


            “Yeah, but THEY are in charge.  We’re just clean up crew.  We don’t get a say in how the system works.”  He paused, glancing at Rufus.  “Um, do we?”


            Rufus shrugged and chirped, “Dunno.”


            Once in the compound they marched up to a group of adults.  They were discussing something amongst themselves in a circle and Kim cleared her throat in order to be noticed.


            “Oh, hi, Miss Possible.”  One of the scientists greeted her. 


            Through the now parted crowd, Kim saw what the conversation piece had been.  The corners of her mouth turned down in a frown.  There, strapped to a chair sagged an unconscious man.  Blue, scarred, and unaware of his surroundings, which was probably just as well.  She was sure once he woke, Drakken would be hurling forth insults and threats among many other things.


            “So, why isn’t he behind bars?”  Kim wanted to know as she gestured towards her arch foe.


            “Criminal reform, Possible.  It’s the wave of the future.  Jails are just not cost effective.  Crowded, dangerous.  They don’t produce anything productive.”


            “License plates!”  Ron cut in eagerly.


            “Still pennies on the dollar for what it costs to care for just one inmate.”


            “So we just let them run around?  Why bother having police then?”  Kim said miffed.


            The scientist shook his head as the others continued talking amongst themselves and comparing the notes on their clipboards.  “Not exactly what we had in mind.”  He held up something that looked like a microchip.


            Kim balked, recalling her escapade with one of those infernal things controlling her.  “You can’t be serious.”


            “It’s a reform chip.  We program out all negative responses and bingo!”


            “In with the good air and out with the bad?”  Ron said helpfully.


            “Well,” the scientist mulled that over, “I suppose it’s close enough.”


            “For government work.”  Kim said under her breath unhappily.


            “We tested it on naturally aggressive animals.”  The scientist went on and had Kim and Ron follow until they arrived at a cage where a lion was cringing in the corner as a tiny lamb grazed on a bale of hay oblivious to what should have been a dangerous situation.


            In the next cage a kitten was trying in vain to groom a docile crocodile.


            “Okay, I get your point.  So it works on animals.  Dr. Drakken isn’t an animal, he’s a mad scientist, heavy on the mad.”  Kim said with arms crossed turning her back on the cages and her attention back to the scientist.  “I still don’t know if this is such a hot idea.”


            “He just got out of surgery.  We attached it to his brain stem.  Now we’re just waiting.”


            “What if it doesn’t work?”  Kim wanted to know uneasily.


            The scientist was quiet for a moment, “If the chip is defective, it will fry his brain.”


            Ron shivered in revulsion.  Kim liked this idea less and less.  “He may be a villain, but he’s still a human--- well, sorta.”  She’d never really known any other blue human in all her travels.  “Don’t you think this borders on the unethical?  It wouldn’t be right, no matter how crummy he is.”


            “It’s a calculated risk.”  The scientist admitted, not liking modern morality being thrown in the works to mess with the experiment.


            “But one you’re willing to take with him?”  Kim sighed.  Scientists!  Mad or otherwise, they thought they had license to control life.  It just wasn’t right.


            The scientist shrugged.  “We’ll find out as soon as he wakes up.”


            “There wont be a big mess or anything, will there?”  Ron asked fearfully.


            “A little snap, crackle, and pop, but that’s it--- and only if it doesn’t work.” 


            “Somehow that doesn’t sound as reassuring as I’m sure you meant it to.”  Kim said.


            The blue man moaned in his chair.  Kim had a weird flashback of that Dr. Frankenstein film festival Ron had gotten her to watch with him last Halloween.  Dr. Drakken had the scars and funky skin color--- all he needed were a few neck bolts and he’d make the perfect monster.  They walked back over to where the others eagerly awaited to see the results of their labors.


            “Dr. Drakken.  Dr. Drakken, can you hear me?”  Another one of the scientists asked the strange man.


            Drakken groaned and with eyes still closed muttered almost incoherently, “Yeah.”


            “What’s your profession?”


            “I’m a scientist.”  Drakken’s head nodded forward and his eyes slowly opened with obvious effort.


            “An evil scientist?”


            You could see the confusion as plain as day on the blue face, “Me?  Don’t be absurd!  I’m not evil.”


            Well, no snap, crackle, or pop, Kim thought with relief.  She wasn’t sure how she’d feel if she had to witness the demise of someone she knew rather well.  Even if she couldn’t stand that person.


            “What’s your favorite color?”  Ron piped in.


            Drakken’s head fell back against the chair groggily like it was the heaviest thing in the world, “Pink.”


            “What’s your top score on Demon Slasher?” 


            “RON!”  Kim hissed.


            “Demon Slasher?”  Drakken sounded horrified, “That game is much too violent!”


            “Sounds reformed to me!”  Ron said satisfied.


            “Sounds creepy to me.”  Kim muttered.


            Drakken tried to sit up, but the restraints stopped him.  But his face stayed pleasant and relaxed, not the usual expression he wore, Kim noted.


            “You want me to stay in this chair?  Okay.  It’s nice and comfy anyway.”  Drakken said calmly and settled back into the chair.


            “Did he just say comfy?”  Ron said wonderingly.  “Doesn’t sound very mad scientist-y to me!”


            One of the scientists crowded in and checked his physical readings.  “All in the green.  Look like he’s passed the first hurdle of the reform.”


            Kim snorted, “I didn’t realize that surviving was considered a major hurdle.”


            “If this system works, Miss Possible, think of all the good it will do!”  The scientist that had talked to them first said eagerly.  “Okay, remove his restraints.”


            Nervous, Kim prepared to fight her arch foe just in case.


            Once released, Dr. Drakken slid off the chair and stood, looking about him pleasantly.  “Hello.”  Kim relaxed her fighting stance a bit.


            “Um, howdy.”  Ron rose a hand up in greeting uncertainly.


            “Do I know you?”  Drakken peered closely at Ron, clearly confused.


            “Um, yeah, hello-o-o-o, arch nemesis, you only have tried to blast me, smash me, slash me only like about a HUNDRED TIMES!”  Ron said irritated.


            Dr. Drakken had the grace to look grief stricken, “I did?  But I don’t do those sorts of things--- do I?”  He frowned.


            Kim approached him, “You remember me though, right?”


            Dr. Drakken looked her up and down then shook his head, “Believe me, I wish I did.”


            “Er, um, okay.”  Kim stepped back.  “Creepiness factor not dissipating at all.” 


            “So, macramé anyone?”  Drakken asked hopefully.


            Kim’s brows furrowed, “At all.”


To be continued---







Where to Find Me


My current online monikers: Skymouth, Lulakai, Skyna
My Zune name is SheriffColtrane
Past online monikers: Snakelady Frohike, Snakelady69

Gaia Online

SoundClick Widgets

This is some of the music I make under the moniker of Lulakai. It's royalty free loops I render together on Sonic Foundry's Acid 3000 program. Mostly I put together electronica, trance, ambient, and experimental. I also have songs up at Acidplanet.com under Lulakai as well for those interested. Please listen and enjoy!
Title:  Out of the Woodwork (3/-)
Author: Skymouth
Pairings/Characters: Launchpad/Webbigail, Bushroot/Loopy, Darkwing Duck, Gosalyn, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Duey, Luey, Duckworth, Magica DeSpell, Ma Beagle
Genres: Adventure/Romance
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Rating may be upped in later chapters.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Launchpad’s little sister Loopy announces her engagement.  But it’s not exactly what Launchpad nor Darkwing had hoped for.
Date Of Completion:  Sept 19, 2009
Date Of Posting: Sept 19, 2009
Disclaimer: Darkwing Duck and subsequent characters belong to Disney Studios. It’d be pretty useless to sue me since I have nothing! I’ve made no profit nor will see any from this fic.
Word Count: 1560
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author's Note: (AN:  I’d like to thank Enforcerorion and Cheezey for helping me flesh out the remainder of this fic!  I was afraid I’d never get this one finished!)

OotWW Part 3Collapse )

“Please try to be nice to him.”  Loopy pled with her older brother.  She was nervous.  He’d sent her before and after pictures so she was prepared with what he looked like.  But she wasn’t sure if her brother would be accepting of such differences.

“Oh, come on, sis.  When am I ever not nice?”  Launchpad said.

“Well...look at you!  You’ll intimidate him!”

Launchpad looked at his sister as if she’d grown a second head.  “Intimidating?  Me?  Funny, Drake… how come no one acts intimidated around me when we’re… um… doing stuff?” 

Drake glanced at his big friend.  “LP, if you were anything like your Negaverse self, you’d scare the pants off of everyone.  Good thing you’re so laid back or else I think you’d scare everyone witless.  Problem is once you open your mouth… well… we’ll just leave it at that.”

Launchpad didn’t know how to take that.  It didn’t sound like a compliment to him.  He scowled at DW so he’d know it didn’t totally go over his head. 

“I’m nice because I wanna be.  I like being nice.”

“Okay, Launchpad.”  Loopy decided to trust her big brother.  “He’ll be here any minute.  Do I look okay?”  She added nervously.

“Ya look great, sis!”  Launchpad willingly changed the subject.

Gosalyn came down the stairs unhappily.  “Still don’t see why I gotta wear a dress!  I’m not the one getting married!”

Drake rolled his eyes.  “Gos, it’s part of helping make this a special occasion.  We want to make a good impression on her fiancé.”

Gosalyn crossed her arms over her chest and positively scowled.  “Well, as soon as he leaves I’m putting this frilly thing in the trash compactor before any of the guys see me in it and I loose all my credibility!” 

“I dunno Gos, I think it’s pretty cute.”  Launchpad piped up which earned him a dark glower from the teenager.  He backed up a pace.  “If anything, Gos is more intimidating then I ever could be!”

Drake was about to admonish Gos for such reckless regard of expensive clothing when the doorbell rang.

“Oh, I’ll get it… no… that will seem too eager… big brother, YOU get it!”  Loopy’s nervousness was causing her to nearly dance in place.

Launchpad agreeably went to get the door after adjusting the tie on his tux.  They had all agreed to dress up for the occasion, well, all but for Gosalyn but Drake hadn’t been in the mood to let his daughter railroad him that time.  Drake and Gosalyn were standing next to each other with an anxious Loopy a little bit in front and to the side of them.  The pilot opened the door and gaped at the figure dressed in a tux in front of him.

“YOU!”  They both pointed at each other in astonishment.

Loopy watched in horror as her brother tackled her fiancé to the ground and managed to immobilize him.

“LAUNCHPAD!  You PROMISED!”  Loopy yelled and ran over to the melee.

Drake and Gosalyn never got the chance to see who it was that Launchpad attacked.  They glanced at each other a little wide eyed.

“Something tells me Launchpad doesn’t approve of Loopy’s choice.”  Gosalyn muttered.

“I’ll get the mop.”  Drake said nonchalantly.

“Shouldn’t you break it up?”  Gosalyn asked.  “What about that good impression b.s. you were talking about earlier?’

 Drake glared at Gos.  However, she did have a point.  Resolutely he steeled himself and approached the brawl.

“Stop it!  Both of you!”  Loopy was shrieking and pounding on her brother’s back in a futile attempt to ward Launchpad off her soon to be husband.

“Don’cha know who this is, Loopy?!?”  Launchpad said in a gruff tone Drake wasn’t used to hearing out of his fiend.  Launchpad’s wide back was still blocking Drake’s view.  It also didn’t help that Loopy had climbed onto her brothers back and was trying to throttle him.

“Yes, of course I do!  He’s my fiancé!  Get off of him NOW!” 

Launchpad froze.  “HE’S your fiancé?”

Drake heard the disbelief in his friend’s voice.  Who on earth was it that could get Launchpad so riled up like that?  Launchpad numbly released the man with Loopy still on his back.  She’d stopped trying to choke her brother once he did so.  The man on the ground scrambled a couple of feet away and tried to catch his breath.  Launchpad’s tux was now in disarray as well as the fiancé.  Drake finally saw whom it was that caused all the excitement and his jaw dropped.

“Bushroot?  Your fiancé is Reginald Bushroot?”  Drake shouted.  He could now understand his friends sudden, hostile actions.  He was tempted to do some hurting of his own.

Loopy slid off of Launchpad’s back and hurried over to the scuffed up mutant plant-duck.  She knelt beside him and her hands flew about him to check to see if he was alright.  Once he’d assured her of being okay, she turned and stormed over to her brother who was still crouched on the ground as if frozen.

“I can’t believe you!  How could you do this to me!  You’d promised!”

“I-I-I-I’m sorry, sis.  But… I don’t think you know your fiancé as well as you should.  I know Bushroot.  He’s, well, he’s not a nice guy.”

He could see how furious Loopy was with him and couldn’t help but feel ashamed of his actions.  He HAD promised.  But how was he to have known he’d be meeting Bushroot at the door?

“Why didn’t you tell me who it was?”  Launchpad asked.

“I knew you’d make snap judgment on him if I did.  I know who he is and what you and that Darkwing Duck character have done to him over the years!  He’s not who you think he is!”

Launchpad looked at her gravely.  “He’s a thief, Loopy… and he hurts people who get in his way.”

“He hadn’t always been that way!”  Loopy shot back angrily. 

Bushroot gazed on at the confrontation in amazement.  The woman he had grown to love was defending him against her own brother?  No one had ever done that for him before and it warmed him.  Why hadn’t she told him who her brother was?  She’d just said everyone in her family were excellent pilots called the Flying Mcquack’s.  He hadn’t ever known Launchpad’s last name before.  The whole excellent pilots thing had thrown him.  The man was obviously the odd duck out of the exceptional piloting skills pool. 

Bushroot hadn’t lied to Loopy.  Even he saw the need for truth in such a relationship.  He’d imparted his exploits and their outcomes and she’d taken it all in stride.  It had amazed him.  After that he’d felt compelled to send her a current photo of himself.  He’d figured she’d run screaming.  If anything she said it made him even more appealing and tragic.  Not even Rhoda had called him appealing.  Emboldened by her acceptance, he decided to show her what he had looked like before.  She’d called him adorable.  Him!  Adorable!  It had lifted his faith in people like nothing had ever done before!  It was the only reason why he’d agreed to meet her brother.  She’d said he lived in Saint Canard so he agreed.  He didn’t like to travel much.  People tended to overreact towards him and in a bad way.

He had been nervous, to say the least.  He hadn’t really had a close, positive relationship with anyone before.  Seeing a picture of him was one thing, but meeting him and seeing his odd abilities in the flesh was quite another!  But his fears had been eased as she had fussed over him after the unexpected scuffle with her brother.  And now she was yelling down her brother in his honor! 

Bushroot couldn’t help but enjoy the scene.  Launchpad looked fully guilt ridden as Loopy let him have it vocally.  He’d since stood up and fussed with his disarranged ‘hair’.

“Um… maybe we should go in before someone calls the cops out on a public disturbance?”  Bushroot interjected.

Launchpad looked up at Bushroot, looking thoroughly contrite.  “Uh, yeah.  Um… wont you come in?”  The big duck stood and dusted himself off.

Loopy went over to Bushroot who held out his arm for her.  She took it gladly and gave her brother a stern scowl as they walked past him.  She stared down Drake for a long, tense moment before he conceded and stepped aside so the pair could go into the house.  Drake and Gosalyn went over to Launchpad’s side.  He looked mentally and physically beaten.

“You going to go in, Launchpad?”  Gos asked.  She placed a concerned hand on his arm.

Launchpad looked like he was a million miles away.  It took him a moment to look down at his teenaged charge and nod.  Gos threw her father a worried glance and pulled Launchpad into the house.  Drake followed and closed the door.  He was full of misgivings about this whole affair.  He didn’t like Bushroot being in his house.  But the deranged plant hadn’t done anything wrong, as of yet.  But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to watch the man like a hawk.  He was going to keep an eye on his house plants too in case they turned traitorous.  The last thing he needed was for Bushroot to figure out he was Darkwing Duck.

To be continued…
Title:  Out of the Woodwork (2/-)
Author: Skymouth
Pairings/Characters: Launchpad/Webbigail, Bushroot/Loopy, Darkwing Duck, Gosalyn, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Duey, Luey, Duckworth, Magica DeSpell, Ma Beagle
Genres: Adventure/Romance
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Rating may be upped in later chapters.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Launchpad’s little sister Loopy announces her engagement.  But it’s not exactly what Launchpad nor Darkwing had hoped for.
Date Of Completion:  Sept 19, 2009
Date Of Posting: Sept 19, 2009
Disclaimer: Darkwing Duck and subsequent characters belong to Disney Studios. It’d be pretty useless to sue me since I have nothing! I’ve made no profit nor will see any from this fic.
Word Count: 3095
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author's Note: (AN: Okay, so I adjusted Gos’s age to 19 instead of the original 12 from when I had first started the fic years ago. I am going somewhere with this and plan on Webby to be 18.)

OotWW Part 2Collapse )

As they proceeded to Ma Beagle’s hideout, Launchpad asked another favor of Darkwing. “Say, DW, do ya think you can cool the crime fighting business while Loopy’s here? I don’t want her to worry.”

“Well, LP, I’ll try, but the bad guys might have other ideas. Besides, I’d be more worried about your safety behind the wheel of an airplane then behind a bad guy’s fist if I were your sister.”

“Gee, thanks, DW!” Launchpad said brightly, clearly missing Darkwing’s habitual jibe of the pilot’s flying skills. The masked mallard just rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat.

“I can’t believe I was able to talk Gos into staying out of harms way for a change.” Darkwing said in wonder. His wayward daughter had nearly jumped at the chance to stay behind at the mansion. She’d get a tour from Scrooge’s nephew’s and Webby.

“Good thing we didn’t tell her we were going to Mr. McD’s Money Bin next or else she wouldn’t’ve.” Launchpad relayed to his buddy.

Darkwing sighed. He’d heard stories about the near fortress of money. He had to wonder if half the things he’d heard about it were true. He’d asked LP and the big duck had seemed to confirm most of the stories.

‘It’s just one great, big temptation for those who have not.” Darkwing said, nearly disgusted.

Launchpad shrugged. “It’s only been breeched a couple of times, and one of those had to be by magic.” He snapped his beak shut, forgetting in that instant that Darkwing and Morgana were at odds with each other and any word about magic only drove Dark seemingly into a depression. “Sorry, DW.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Darkwing waved him off unhappily.

He and Morg had hit a rough spot in their relationship for the past month. Darkwing had suspected her of using her magic for ill gains again and she had sworn she hadn’t. He didn’t know if he could believe her and he knew she knew that and it angered her. So they had yelled at each other--- needlessly. Dark hadn’t seen her in nearly three weeks.

“But hey, one more big crime bust before Loopy gets here should brighten your mood, right, DW?” Launchpad said hopefully.

“Mmmm.” Dark didn’t feel like pretending everything was all right just then, even if it might bring down his friends cheery mood. What right did other people have of being so darned happy when he was so obviously not?

They flew over Duckburg. Launchpad missed the familiar skyline. He could pinpoint almost every spot he’d crashed over his time spent there. But his fond memories weren’t enough to make him forget to worry about Darkwing’s depression. He hoped DW would patch things up with the witch soon. Living with the neurotic duck was even starting to affect his normally perpetual pleasant mood.

“I think we’re there.” Launchpad brought the Thunderquack down hard and they skidded across the gravel lot beside the ramshackle house. They finally came to a teeth clattering halt and both soon jumped from the plane and made their way to the hideout.

“Um, I guess we knock.” Darkwing was amazed they had approached the place with no trouble. “You sure this is the right place?”

The door opened before Launchpad could confirm. There, in front of them, was the wizened face of an old beagle. Her prison stripe outfit did nothing for her dumpy figure. Her eyes squinted as she gave Darkwing a quick inspection then widened as she recognized Launchpad.

“You?” She looked amazed, then tried to quickly recover herself. “I’ll have you know I’ve already met with my Parole Officer yesterday and have already preformed my community service for the week. You can also tell Scrooge to stop pestering my boys over something they couldn’t possibly have done!” The last sentence was punctuated by her poking Launchpad in the chest with her finger.

Darkwing noted the exchange and made a mental note to question LP about Ma Beagle later. “Listen, Ma’am, a felony has been committed and the cops are only doing their job. They have to cover all the angles before they can rule out any suspects.”

“You don’t look like a cop.” Ma Beagle scoffed haughtily and stood back in the middle of her door with her arms crossed. Obviously making a stand against authority. “You look like an idiot. You and McQuack are the perfect pair.”

Darkwing saw red. “Now see here! Just because you are out of jail temporarily doesn’t mean I can’t throw you back in there! I’ll be watching you, lady! You AND your boys! If anyone of you and your kin even LOOK at Mr. McDuck the wrong way, I’ll--- I’ll--- do something!”

Ma Beagle looked unimpressed. “By who’s authority? You’re nothing but a trumped up citizen. A duck with a complex and some serious ego issues.” She paused and looked him up and down again, “And you need obvious help in accessorizing your wardrobe.”

Darkwing Duck was nearly trembling at her words. So obviously loaded, but he was too blinded by anger to tell she was baiting him.

“Um, DW---“ Launchpad tried to soothe his friend.

“I KNOW you or one of your boys tried to kill Mr. McDuck! And I’ll prove it and I’ll make sure I have a camera with me so I can take pictures of the look on your face as you and your boys get sentenced to life and thrown in jail! Then the judge and D.A. and I will make a shrine of those pictures and then laugh and do a jig around it!” He ranted then whirled around and stalked off back to the Thunderquack.

“Um, nice seeing you again?” Launchpad said uncertainly to the amused criminal and then hurried off after the masked mallard. “DW! DW!”

“WHAT?” Darkwing growled.

“Weren’t we supposed to ask her some questions?”

“Forget it, LP! She’d just lie to us anyway even if she pretended to cooperate. We’ll stick around and watch her--- like a hawk!”

Launchpad opened the hatch and both of then jumped into the plane. “But, Loopy’s flying in this Friday, DW. I don’t have a way to contact her to tell her to meet us in Duckburg.”

Figures, the crime fighter thought darkly. “We’ll figure something out, LP. Don’t worry. We’ll settle this matter with Mr. McDuck and STILL have time to gad about with your sister.”

And Launchpad all too eagerly believed.


Upon their arrival to the Bin, they had to pass by the new purple limo to get to the entrance which sported a pair of armed guards. Duckworth was standing beside the limo as always. Launchpad changed their course to greet and question the old butler.

“Hey, Duckworth.” Launchpad hailed the startled driver.

Duckworth hadn’t expected to see the pilot ever again, “Hello, Mr. McQuack. Are you back in town for long?”

Launchpad nodded, “We’re here to help Mr. McD.”

Duckworth deigned to notice Darkwing. “Friend of Mr. McDuck’s?”

“No,” Dark admitted, “We’re here on business. And speaking of business, you ARE the limo driver, are you not?” Darkwing had listened to LP’s suggestion they question the old butler. In his mind, he couldn’t help but think, ‘The butler always does the crime.’ But they had ulterior reasons to think otherwise, with the exception that he hadn’t been in harms way at the time of the crime, which was odd.

“Yes. I had hoped that I wouldn’t have to state the obvious.” Duckworth replied stoically. “And why are you asking me anyway? You couldn’t possibly think of me as a suspect. I am Mr. McDuck’s most loyal servant!” The butler replied indignantly.

“Just covering all the bases.” Darkwing continued on with the questioning. “Why were you not with the limo at the time of the explosion? Isn’t that your permanent post on an outing?”

Launchpad felt uncomfortable questioning Duckworth’s loyalties and found something off in the distance that was interesting to look at so he didn’t have to look at the expression of disbelief on the old man’s face.

“Mr. McDuck had sent me on a few errands to the nearby stores. I am more then just the limo driver, or his butler… I am his most trusted employee. He often sends me on such excursions. So that is why I was not with the limo when it exploded. I would NEVER do anything to jeopardize my employer’s life! You know this, Launchpad.” Duckworth looked absolutely appalled that anyone could ever doubt his favor.

Launchpad did know this. “Sorry, Duckworth. It was just a question.”

“Okay. I just had to ask.” Dark said starkly. Minus one more suspect. He mentally crossed Duckworth off his list of perps.

“See ya, Duckworth.” Launchpad couldn’t think of any thing else to say or anyway to smooth Duckworth’s ruffled feathers. So the two just turned and walked off.

The guards at the entrance of the Bin allowed them entry, once Launchpad explained his past association with Scrooge, and after calling up to Scrooge’s office to confirm. Darkwing followed Launchpad, who seemed to know the way.

They road the elevator up to the office on the top floor, where two more guards met them in the long hall.

“You again.” One of the guards said, in recognition of the pilot.

“Hey, Quackenbaum.” Launchpad greeted the guard.

“Hate to bother you, but what with the latest attempt on McDuck’s life, I have to ask that if either of you have any weapons, to please leave them with me. You’ll get them back when you leave.”

Darkwing frowned. He didn’t want to hand over his gas gun or other arsenals, but he could see the necessity of it. He freely handed them all over. Launchpad never carried anything on him that might be considered a weapon, unless you considered his landings as one. The other guard escorted them to the office door and knocked.

“Come in.” Came the muted response from the other side of the door.

They stepped into Scrooge’s office. Scrooge was at his desk, pouring over what Launchpad guessed to be the latest futures reports. The old miser looked exactly the same as when he’d seen him last.

Scrooge looked up and the agitated look on his face melted away, “Launchpad, M’boy! It’s been a long time!” He turned a bit to scrutinize the oddly dressed duck in purple garb, “I did not send for you, Darkwing. I hope you don’t expect me to pay for your assistance.”

Darkwing tried not to outwardly show that statement bothered him. He valiantly kept a pleasantly bland expression on his face, “I’m not here for reward money, Mr. McDuck. I’m here to see justice is done.”

The richest duck in Duckburg gave him a raking look, “I see.” He looked back at LP, “You… work… for this person?”

Launchpad shrugged, “Yeah.”

“You aren’t trying to get back on my payroll, are you, Launchpad?” Scrooge asked suspiciously.

The pilot shook his head, “No, Mr. McD. We just want to help you, is all.”

Scrooge stood, leaning against his desk and cut them a hard look, “I refuse to be babysat by the police or anyone else. Not even a friend, you got that, Launchpad? You know this isn’t the first time someone has made an attempt on my life.”

Launchpad nodded. He knew very well. If it hadn’t been that someone thought they saw a Beagle Boy near the limo before the explosion, it could very well be any number of suspects that would want to see the end of Mr. McDuck’s reign as one of the world’s richest ducks.

“We talked to Ma Beagle,” Darkwing said.

Scrooge walked around his desk, “That conniving old spinster? What did you find out?”

“Nothing.” Darkwing sighed resolutely. Nothing at all they could use.

“I wouldn’t trust her to give exact change, let alone tell the truth.” There was no love lost between Scrooge and the scrupulous beagle. “Do as you like with the case. If the police ask, tell them you’re on as my retainer. Stay out of my way. This is NOT a paying job. But you CAN say you did work for me.”

‘Oh boy,’ Darkwing thought dryly, still trying to not let the old duck’s words prick at his ego.

“Good seeing you again, Launchpad.”

“Ditto, Mr. McD.” Even Launchpad knew a dismissal when he heard one.

The two left. Darkwing retrieved his weapons and they flew back to the mansion.

“Didn’t quite go the way I wanted.” Darkwing said disappointedly.

“He’s a tough old bird.” Launchpad told him out of experience. “He hates people telling him what to do.”

“As do I, LP. Well, whether he likes it or not, we’re gonna shadow him. Since the attempt failed, I’m not making any bets against the idea that the one behind this will try again.”

“Until Friday, that is.” Launchpad reminded Dark.

Darkwing rubbed his face with his hand in annoyance to the disruption of a case. “Yeah, we’ll shadow Mr. McDuck until time to collect your sister.”


Friday morning came all too quickly for Darwking who still hadn’t uncovered any better clues as to who tried to kill Mr. McDuck. He thought about just sending LP back to Saint Canard by himself to pick up Loopy while he stayed and continued his investigation, but he HAD promised LP he’d go with. Even Gos wanted to come, despite having to leave the opulent mansion behind. She’d befriended the triplets during her stay there, but only barely tolerated Webby who was way too girly for her tastes.

“Not every day we get to meet one of Launchpad’s relatives. Wonder what she’ll look like?” Gos had said to her father who had changed into his Drake Mallard clothes before they left Duckburg.

“Well, if names have any meaning at all, and if she’s anything like LP…” Drake shuddered at the emanate possibility of disaster. “Shoulda upped our insurance on the house.”

At the airport, an anxious Launchpad waited at the mouth of the gate while Drake and Gosalyn stood slightly behind him. Loopy’s flight had arrived in a timely manner and the plane had pulled up to the gate. The passengers had yet to disembark, which only made Launchpad that more antsy as he waited.

“Calm down, LP.” Drake tried to soothe his nervous friend, “You act like something’s going to go wrong.” Which it’d better NOT! He added silently.

“Just… can’t seem to help myself, Drake.” Launchpad minced in place as the first of the passengers strolled out.

Half the plane emptied before he spied a familiar looking young lady. She had changed drastically since he’d seen her last, but there was always that particular look that allowed him to recognize her no matter how much time had changed her.

“Hey, Big Brother!” She waved excitedly as she spied the big duck. She ran up and hugged him, a big grin on her face.

Launchpad hugged her back and couldn’t help but smile as well, “You look great, Sis!”

She did indeed. Her blond locks were done up in a bun atop her head, and she had exchanged her new wave, Valley Girl garb into something a bit more sedate, yet stylish. And no bubble gum.

“Loopy, these are my friends Drake Mallard and his daughter Gosalyn.” He made introductions. “You’ll be staying with us at his house.”

Loopy, still smiling widely, shook Drake’s hand, “Nice to meet you!”

“Likewise.” Drake replied dumbfounded. She seemed normal. Too normal to be LP’s sister.

“How old are you?” She asked in way of greeting Gosalyn.

“Nineteen.” Gosalyn carefully looked Miss McQuack over. “So, you’re Launchpad’s sister, huh?”

Loopy nodded pleasantly, “Little sister! You’re lucky to get to see Launchpad so much. He’s good with kids.”

“So, is mom and dad coming too?” Launchpad asked his sister feeling anxious again.

Loopy frowned slightly and shook her head, “No. Dad’s in the middle of teaching a flying class. He can’t get away to see the wedding.”

“Wait, wedding? You’re going to get married now?” Drake didn’t like surprises being sprung on him. They were too… surprising. “I thought you were just coming to visit.” He had an investigation to get back to and he didn’t want it to be postponed for any longer then it already was.

“Um, didn’t I say she was going to get married?” Launchpad said.

“Yes, but not this moment!” Drake didn’t hide his frustration.

“Not this moment, but within the month.” Loopy said all too calmly, despite Drake glowering at her.

Drake turned his glare onto LP who winced. “I’m sorry, but I was of the impression you were here for a short visit.”

“I didn’t mean to inconvenience you. I can always stay at my fiancé’s house. He lives in Saint Canard.” Loopy sensed troubled waters and tried to steer a course away.

‘Great’, Drake thought to himself. ‘Now I’m the villain.’ Then he said aloud. “No, that’s okay. You can stay with us. But, I may not be able to stay home for the entirety of your visit. My work will be taking me out of town.”

“Who is your fiancé anyway?” Launchpad wanted to know.

“He’s the kindest, most sweetest man! I told you I met him on the internet! I can’t wait to meet him in person!” Loopy gushed giddily.

Drake was taken aback, “You mean you agreed to marry someone you never even met before?”

Loopy nodded clearly undisturbed, “Oh yes! Didn’t I say he was the kindest, most sweetest man? He’s also a genius! He’s trying to find a way to end the greenhouse affect and save the whole planet!”

“Uh, Loopy… don’t you think you should postpone the wedding for, I dunno, a few years, at least until AFTER you meet him?” Launchpad said aggrievedly. Suddenly feeling the need to protect his young and impetuous sister.

But Loopy held no reservations, “He’s so marvelous! I arranged for him to come by the house Sunday for dinner! Can’t wait for you to meet him, Big Brother!”

Launchpad helplessly looked over to Drake who didn’t much care for that idea either. But it couldn’t be helped.

“Does he eat meat?” Drake sighed as he tried to plan a dinner menu in his head for the occasion.

Loopy, still smiling brightly replied cheerily, “I dunno! But I’ll Instant Messenger him tonight and find out!”

‘Wonderful.’ Drake thought in despair and could only guess at how LP felt about all this.

To be continued…

OotWW Part 3Collapse )
Title:  Out of the Woodwork (1/-)
Author: Skymouth
Pairings/Characters: Launchpad/Webbigail, Bushroot/Loopy, Darkwing Duck, Gosalyn, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Duey, Luey, Duckworth, Magica DeSpell, Ma Beagle
Genres: Adventure/Romance
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Rating may be upped in later chapters.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Launchpad’s little sister Loopy announces her engagement.  But it’s not exactly what Launchpad nor Darkwing had hoped for. 
Date Of Completion:  Sept 17, 2009
Date Of Posting: Sept 17, 2009
Disclaimer: Darkwing Duck and subsequent characters belong to Disney Studios. It’d be pretty useless to sue me since I have nothing! I’ve made no profit nor will see any from this fic.
Word Count: 2413
Feedback welcome and appreciated.

OotWW Part 1Collapse )

Skymouth's List O' Hot Mens!

Yup! I made a 'short' list of the celebrities I think are hotties! It's a rather eclectic mix. Don't be afraid to squee over your favorite!

Adam Baldwin
Alan Alda
Alan Rickman
Anthony Hopkins
Brendan Fraser
Brian Downey
Bruce Campbell
Burt Reynolds
Chris Barrie
Chris Kattan
Chris Noth
Craig Charles
Dan Ackroyd
David Duchovny
David Ogden Stiers
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Harrison Ford
Harry Anderson
Hugh Jackmon
Ice T
Jack Nicholson
Jackie Chan
James Best
James Gandolfini
Jamie Farr
Jerry Orbach
Jim Parons
John DeLancie
John Hannah
John Larroquette
John Lovitz
John Schneider
John Tuturro
Julian Sands
Julius Carry
Lorne Cardinal
Michael Keaton
Morgan Freeman
Patrick Stewart
Patrick Warburton
Robert Constanzo
Sam Waterson
Samuel L Jackson
Sean Austin
Tim Curry
Tim Roth
Tom Braidwood
Tom Hanks
Tommy Lee Jones
Vincent D'Onofrio
Wesley Snipes
Will Smith

Am sure I've probably forgotten a few... it's an age vs memory thing, don't'cha know! I will most likely update it as I recall who else I tend to slobber over!

Batman Fanfiction

Title:  Knit Wits
Author: Skymouth
Pairings/Characters: Bullock, Montoya, Harley Quinn
Genres: Humor
Rating: PG
Warnings: slight language
Spoilers: None
Summary: Bullock is blackmailed into a deal by Harley Quinn to keep a secret that could ruin his reputation.
Date Of Completion:  September 8, 2009
Date Of Posting: September 8, 2009
Disclaimer: Batman and all subsequent characters are owned by DC Comics.  I own nothing.  Nothing I tell you!  No money was made from this fic
Word Count: 2009
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author's Note: This is based off a youtube short starring Robert Costanzo, Bullock’s voice actor, I found.  I thought it would be fun to assume that actually is Bullock who has a rather unorthodox pastime.  Viewing the video would help this make a bit more sense but is not mandatory.  It’s still a hoot though and very worth the watch!  Nothing is as it seams!  Yes, pun intended!  Here’s the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U00Rrt_mCg8  I also changed the plot a bit since its conception since I’d wanted this to be a relatively short fic.  Please read, review, and enjoy!

Knit WitsCollapse )

Bullock inched his way out of the alley behind the place where he had spent the better part of the last three hours.  He’d been going there for the past two years while assuming a different identity, not wishing to blow his cover that he really was a cop.  Companions had come and gone, like Johnny and Joey, if those really were their real names.  He suspected not.  He himself assumed the name of Carmine whenever he entered the place. 

But now he was back on the streets and he was Bullock once again.  His tools of the trade safely tucked away in a non-descript bag.  There was no way he was about to show those off to anyone who wasn’t already on the inside.  People might get the wrong impression about him.  His reputation would be ruined.

Not even his partner knew what he was up to, but that was usually the case anyway.  Montoya was waiting for him with her arms crossed by the time he appeared in the police station.

“Bullock, you’re late again.  That’s the sixth time in the past couple of months.  That’s not like you.”  She began.

Bullock stuffed the bag into the back of the bottom draw of his desk before he deigned to respond.  “What are you, my keeper?  I already got one mother, never asked for two.”

She glared at him.  “You’re my partner and that means we work together!  How can I work with you if you’re never here?”  She demanded.  Her Latin accent got heavier when she got upset.

“Ya gonna send me to my room now?”

She threw up her hands in a helpless gesture.  “You’re impossible!”  Then she stormed off.

Bullock didn’t care one way or the other.  Though he did hate people bothering him about things they shouldn’t even worry about because it wasn’t any of their business.  He went on about his work ignoring the occasional evil eye Montoya would shoot his way.  Bullock was used to that.  It seemed he couldn’t go a day without upsetting at the very least his partner, at the most his department and the citizens of Gotham.  It seemed there was only one place of refuge but he could only go there on a rare occasion where he had an afternoon free.  Today had been one of those days.  He’d feel sheepish about going from there and straight to work with his real job.  They all suspected he was a sausage maker at some Italian deli.  It hadn’t been too hard to fool them.  After all they might not think about what else an Italian/American could do besides maybe being a goodfellow.  But he seriously doubted any of them had seen that movie.

He stared out at the hated forms that needed to be constantly filled out at his real job. 

The next day he was running late again.  He was coming out the back way of the building and thought he saw a familiar red and white flash further ahead into the alley.  Frowning, he pulled his gun from the bag that he always took with him when he went to that particular place. 

Peering about him with all due caution, Bullock couldn’t find any trace of whatever it was he thought he had seen.  Exhaling a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he stood back up and lowered his gun only to jerk back when he saw something coming his way.  He lept to the side and lifted his hands in a fending off gesture as the item flew at him and rolled just a little beyond him on the ground.  Perplexed, he turned around to get a better view of what had been thrown at him.  A scowl formed on his face as he identified what it was.  It had obviously come from inside the building he had just exited. 

“Okay, who’s messing with me, dammit?”  He raised his voice in agitation and held his gun back up at the ready.

“That’s no way to talk to a lady.”  Admonished a voice he recognized.

“You’re no lady, you’re a freak!  Come out and show yourself!”

“Ain’t’cha even interested in hearing my deal first?”  Harley Quinn quipped in her typical cheerful voice.

Bullock was not amused.  “I don’t make deals with freaks!”

“Ha!  That’s a lie, you make deals with Bats all the time!”  She countered.

“Get the hell outta here before I decide to start shooting!”  He growled.

Harley Quinn would not be deterred.  “But I have pictures!  Wanna see?  Or maybe I should just hand them over to Summer Gleeson, I’ll bet she’ll have a field day with these babies!”

“What pictures?”  He asked dangerously though a part of him was filled with dread that he already suspected.  She had been waiting for him to come out of that building after all.

“Oh, of you and your cronies doing something I KNOW you don’t want anyone else to find out about!” 

She let one of them slip down from above and he watched it fall to the ground.  Upon picking it up his fear was confirmed.

“What the hell do you want?”  Bullock demanded as he picked up the picture that could very well end his reputation on the streets and in his workplace.

“I want in.”

He snorted.  “You’re kidding.”

“I’m dead serious.  I’ve always wanted to learn how.  You’re my ticket in!”  She sounded oh so optimistic.

He knew Harley Quinn well enough to know she’d make good on her threats. 

“You can’t go like you normally do, you know.  You’d have to work hard to not look like a freak.”

“Oh, I figured that, I’ve been watching you there for a week now.  Can we go in tomorrow?  I want to get my feet wet.”

“And what would your boy toy the Joker think of you hanging out with me?”

“You think I’d want my Puddin’ to find out about this?  I know a little something about incognito myself… Carmine.”

His scowl deepened.  Great, just great.  How the hell was he supposed to introduce her to the group?  If they knew a crusty old cop and insane criminal were in their midst’s things could get ugly pretty quick.

“Same time tomorrow then?”  She asked still safe in her hiding place.

“Fine… whatever.  Just… keep your wits about you while we’re in there, ‘kay?  Last thing I need is for you to blow this.”

“Sure thing!

He knew she soon left after.  He cursed silently all the way to his car.

The next day a few hours before his shift, he arrived with his bag and waited in the alley.  He itched to have his gun in hand, but it would be all over if they spied it while he was in there.  He heard the echoing clack of heels on the asphalt.  It wasn’t long before he saw a young blond sauntering up the way with a merry expression on her face.  She stopped in front of him.  She looked downright normal.  Hell, Bullock thought to himself she’d be hot if not for the insane part.

“Well,” she sounded way too chipper for his liking.  “Let’s do this!”

She latched herself onto his arm.  Startled, all he could do for a moment was stare.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”  He groused.

“Why, Sugar, is that any way to talk to your wifey-poo?”  She batted her eyes at him.

Bullock groaned.  This was not what he had in mind for under cover.  “This isn’t gonna work.”

“Sure it will!  You’re Carmine and I’m your wife Cindy!  They’ll love it!”

Grumbling to himself, he led the way to the back door with her hanging on his arm.  It was awkward to be sure.  Once they went in he stopped her in the dark passage way before they went in and sat down at the circle.

“Okay, now pay attention to what they’re doing.  They’ll ask personal questions of you, its’ their way.  Just… don’t embarrass me in there.”  Bullock warned.

“I’ll be a good scout!”  She saluted him with an eager grin.

“Can’t believe I agreed to this.”  Bullock grumbled and led her in the rest of the way.

“Hello, Ladies.  My wife Cindy here has been dyin’ to come and try her hand at the knitting.” 

Bullock’s face transformed into that of a jolly old Italian.  Harley stared at the abrupt transformation.  She’d never seen him so congenial before as he seemed to happily introduce her to everyone in the knitting circle.

“So glad to meet your wife, Carmine.  Does she know anything about knitting?”  One of the older ladies asked.

“No, you’ll have to help her with the cast on and I was hoping you’d show her the knit stitch.  She’ll need some yarn and needles too but I thought since she’s a beginner she’d just be doing a practice swatch and borrow an extra pair of my needles for now.”  Bullock said easily from where he sat.  He dug his project and an extra pair of needles from his bag.

His mood always took a turn for the better when he was amongst his circle of knitting companions.  Even with Harley there nothing could wipe the smile from his face.  He kept an eye on his ‘wife’ as he worked on his project.  He was sitting on one side of her and one of the older visitors of the knitters circle sat on Harley’s other side and gave her the basic beginning instructions.

“What are those?”  Harley asked Bullock wide eyed at the oddest pair of needles she’d ever seen.

“These are called circular needles.  They work pretty much the same as the straight needles most people are used to seeing.”  He said when he showed her the odd set.  They looked like regular needles on the top, but at the bottom they were attached by a single, long cord.  His project was bunched onto that cord in such a way she couldn’t see how he could tell what it was he was knitting.

“I want to learn!”  She said in the most honest voice he’d ever heard from her.

“You will, just gotta start from the beginning.  Straight needles first, then circular.”  He told her.

So they spent the next two hours knitting.  Upon leaving out the back door as always, Bullock had been wondering what she’d thought of it.

“So, you gonna come back?”  Bullock asked her.

“Yes!  I’ve always wanted to learn to knit but Puddin’ would just make fun, ya know?  I guess I understand why you’re so hush hush about it now.  I won’t tell anyone that you knit if you won’t tell anyone that I’m so eager to learn.”  Harley replied as they walked out of the building.

“It’s always nice to have a sort of support group.  That’s what those ladies in there are for me.  I guess I can be part of your support group too if only for the knitting.  You commit a crime… I’m still going to arrest you.”

“A support group?  Me?”  She absolutely beamed and gave the unsuspecting Bullock a quick hug.  “Thanks, Carmine!  I mean Bullock!  You know, I can see that place is good for you.  You looked, well… happy.  I ain’t never seen ya happy before.”

“Yeah, well…”  Bullock didn’t know what to say about that.

“So, we gonna go back tomorrow?”  She asked eagerly.

He shook his head.  “I’ve never been in there for that many days in a row before.”  At the look of disappointment on her face he quickly replied.  “But four days from now I can.  It’ll be a bit earlier though.  Can you make it?’

Her smile was back and she nodded.  “Yup!  So until then… or until my Puddin’ comes up with another scheme!”  She blew him a kiss and strode off in her own direction.

Bullock couldn’t help but hope that the Joker would lay low for a while.  He never would admit it aloud but he could get used to this.


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